i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
