I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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