I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he fucked my hip out of place.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
