Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
