His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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