I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
