You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
