The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
