Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize