I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
