...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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