I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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