This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
