Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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