Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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