idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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