well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just invented taco cereal.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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