Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
