The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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