Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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