I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
