dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
