To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize