I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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