and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
