So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
