I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
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He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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