drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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