remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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