this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
