At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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