a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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