New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
