My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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