she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
