I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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