Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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