I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
