You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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