in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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