You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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