i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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