I'm jealous of your bromance
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
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he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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