you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
