i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
