I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
