Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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