She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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