i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
