is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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