Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
