You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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