member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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