Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
