We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
