come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
