Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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