I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
