Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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