I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
