trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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