We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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