oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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