accomplished twins. life is a go
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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