It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
