Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
