haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
