He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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