I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
is that a dick in a sweater?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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